Frankly, I’m confused about how this so-called retirement thing is supposed to work. I expected a lot more napping (with Heather) and mapping (as in Mike planning trips and us hitting the road together). Instead, Heather spent a lot of time downstairs this fall, sitting at a table in front of a couple of computer screens, while I lounged nearby. Sometimes she yelled loudly at herself, and she talked to herself frequently, but I managed to tune her out and doze in front of the fireplace or in a camp chair near her desk. In fact, the fall routine was a lot like going to Heather’s office, back in the good old days when I was allowed to go there, except we had a fireplace and we don’t have to get in her car to drive there. We just have to go downstairs. And there’s never a stream of people coming through the door, asking Heather questions and saying hi to me. There’s only Mike, heading out to the garage to do whatever it is he does out there.
I’m not complaining, though. Compared to the boot camp regimen Heather had threatened, Heather has been fairly easy on me, once we got over a little rough spot. While Mike was away in October, Heather got mad at me for disobeying her by repeatedly scarfing up food scraps from the street and from the Wendy*s Way smorgasbord outside the park, as well as for not peeing when she told me to. I thought she went a bit overboard on that last one. Not peeing just to be stubborn? Please.
Anyway, when Mike returned, Heather began a short Reign of Terror, when she wouldn’t look at or talk to me and had Mike do everything related to me. But that lasted only a day or two. Then we were BFFs again, although for a while she forbade me from visiting the smorgasbord. Even that edict has been relaxed of late, however; I got myself some Swiss cheese over there just yesterday.
As the holidays approach, the pace of Heather’s work schedule has slacked off somewhat. We’ve watched a lot more TV in bed, which is always good. We sneaked in a few afternoon naps, too. And the weather has been beautiful, sunny and crystal clear every day. That always puts everyone in a better mood. Last weekend Santa Monkey, Rudolf and my stocking all arrived in the living room, and the real Santa will be showing up soon, preceded, I hope, by plenty of UPS deliveries.