Chloë Scales New Heights

New mattress, new problem

New mattress, new problem

After talking about it for months, Mike and Heather finally got a new mattress. Good for them, but did they think about me? They may be more comfortable, but do I get to sleep in it any more often? No, I don’t. And that’s not the worst part.

This mattress is thicker than the last one. That means it’s higher off the floor. And that means I need to be an Olympic high jumper to get up there, whereas I could vault from floor to bed top from a sitting position, no problem, on the old one. Since the new mattress arrived before Thanksgiving, I have gone splat against the side of the damn thing on several occasions. Even eating several cases of Wheaties (which wouldn’t be so bad as long as it they were covered with milk and bananas) won’t get me enough boost to make it over the top. I doubt even performance-enhancing drugs would do the trick.

Solution: Proper positioning.

Solution: Proper positioning.

Even using my personal Stairway to Heaven is not as easy as it used to be. The top step of my unit now leaves me several inches short of the goal. Luckily, Heather figured out how to re-position the steps (two inches from the side of the bed and even with the foot) to give me the maximum efficiency for speed and angle. I can make it to the top of the bed with ease, but I still need to get a running start. Getting down from the new mattress via the steps is a breeze, as long as I can stay clear of Heather’s dresser when I hit the floor.

But getting down is still the tricky part. I am not supposed to jump off the new bed directly to the floor, ever, because landing hard like that is going to eventually be bad for my delicate dachshund back. Why didn’t Mike think about this inherent danger to me before he brought this new mattress into MY bedroom?

Victory achieved.

Victory achieved.

So far, I’m coping. I’ve heard NO JUMPING more times in the past couple of weeks than I have in the rest of my time on earth combined. Heather, especially, and even my good friend Lynn when she came over to stay with me last week, have kept harping on it, trying to make me learn. We’ll see if this loud, Trumpian campaign works, or if somebody comes up with a better solution. In the meantime, I know I can get away with bed-jumping on Mike’s watch, since he never pays attention to anything. Yahoo, I’m flying, just like Peter Pan!

 

 

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4 responses to “Chloë Scales New Heights

  1. Chloe has been good about not leaping off the sides of the bed lately. When she awakes in the morning, she is very excited for me to join her in getting up to get breakfast or go for a walk. So she will do the puppy crawl and pounce on me. I in-turn do a modified puppy crawl in that I walk my hands toward her as she sits in the middle of the new bed (notice away from the edges). I give her one Charlie Bear cookie – in appreciation for her calmness – and tell her sit-stay. Then I move to the open bedroom door and call her to “come.” She comes down the stairs – safely avoiding a collision with the dresser and out the door. The secret to non-injury is calm and controlled movement….

  2. Pingback: Chloë Gains at Home | Diary of a Wiener Dog

  3. Pingback: Chloë Rides a Perfect Storm of Holiday Cheer | Diary of a Wiener Dog

  4. Look at you trying to sneak in here without being noticed. Happy b’day, Julie! I hope your b’day is wonderful and filled with all kinds of guilty pleasures! Oh, and I was just over at Byro’s place and left my 5 Most Manly Guilty Pleasures! Happy B”day! May this be the beginning of a wonderful decade for you!

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