My ball-playing exploits with the purple-and-white Visi-Ball and Wiffie have been well documented over the years. I am adept at catching grounders like Ozzie Smith and throwing to the plate as accurately as Ichiro. Now Mike is taking me to the major leagues.
Thankfully, he has thus far abstained from the dreaded Bark at the Park nights, when Mariners fans bring their pooches to Safeco Field for a game. Last time more than 500 dogs showed up with owners in tow. Come on, standing around for three hours with 500 stranger dogs? No, thank you. I like hot dogs and peanuts, but not that much. And check out that website about it. Did you see all the hoops you have to jump through to go? And the big pay-off at the end is I get to walk around the bases? Big deal. Let me know when they Mariners let dogs roam free in the outfield.
Besides, I’m more than a dog. Instead, Mike signed me up for the Mariners Kids Club, and so far it’s working out well. I’ve already received two pamphlets from the Mariners and a personalized greeting from M’s ace Felix Hernandez.
Then came the tricky part, when Mike had to visit the stadium without me and convince the young ladies behind the Kids Club registration desk to give him my official Mariners Kids Club ID card, lanyard, tote bag and wiffle ball without me actually being there. They were reluctant, but Mike shamed them into it.
The Mariner Moose came through with all the promised items delivered in a plastic tote bag. I’m not sure I’ll be able to use the bag, unless Heather can take a scissors to it and cut enough holes that I can use it as a rain coat. But the ID card came out fine.
I’m not sure yet whether I’ll be able to use the Mariners wiffie. It’s got the holes on half of its area, making it vulnerable to my constant gnawing; at least, that’s what happened to earlier balls of this design. It may have to be designated “for display purposes only.” Within the next few days Mike will toss it into the kitchen and we’ll see if my taste in balls has changed.
The Kids Club lanyard is a little large for my neck, but it’s adjustable. Mike told me that Heather would adjust it for me the next time we go to play some fetch. I’m concentrating on improving my play of caroms off the tree stumps on Chloë’s Lane just in case the Mariners Kids Club has a picnic and softball game.