Amid the continuing barrage of mail we receive from President Obama, the Democratic Party, a committee to elect Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama (is she running for something?) and a slew of charities and left-wing political causes, imagine my surprise when another piece of political mail arrived, addressed to me, personally (although lacking the most important part of my hyphenated last name, Greenstein-Tully!). And it bore a postmark from Alaska!
I thought this was very suspicious, so I had Mike scan the envelope for telltale smudges of white powder. Only after it came up clean did I felt safe enough to let Mike open it — in another room, of course. When no contamination ensued, I finally thought it was OK for me to personally examine the contents. But the envelope contained no letter, no policy statement, no begging for funds, just an autographed photo of Sarah Palin.
Truthfully, I wasn’t really sure who the hell Sarah Palin was, but looking at her hair, lipstick and earrings, I guessed either TV commentator or real estate agent. Rather than guess, I decided to investigate. So I did what any enterprising dachshund would do: No, I didn’t Google her, I gave her the old sniff test. I poked my nose right in there! Unfortunately, I didn’t find her scent at all appealing. She reeked of hairspray, perfume and baloney.
In my world, I must smell a dog or person to really get to know them. I can smell a friendly dog or person from a great distance, and approach accordingly. Sarah flunked my sniff test, big time. If she were hoping for any kind of monetary contribution from me in return for this autographed photo, she can just forget it. My only contribution to any of her campaigns is illustrated on the right.