There was good news and bad news from my annual trip to the vet this week. The good news, of course, is that it’s my first trip to the vet since my last annual physical. Frank and Stanley, my brothers, are there all the time. My predecessor, Heidi, was at the vet several times a year for one thing or another. Me? Once, for my annual physical and shots. I guess I’m in pretty good shape, eh?
My personal physician, Dr. Aimee Kimmel, apparently agrees. In her hand-written report, under “General Appearance” she wrote: “Adorable girl.” And almost needless to say, next to “Mouth, Teeth, Gums” she scrawled, “beautiful teeth!” (With an exclamation point!) During the examination, in fact, she looked at my teeth and told Mike, “Awesome job.” Hey, don’t praise him, Doc: only my personal compliance makes my dental hygiene and grooming possible, and I may revoke consent at any time. I am a dachshund, after all.
My compliance even extended into Dr. Kimmel’s examination and injections, of which there were four, which must be some kind of record. for one appointment. After the first two shots, Mike and I were instructed to walk around the block for a half hour before I could get the next two shots. I guess a little girl like me can’t consume too many drugs at once without ODing. Anyway, I was well-behaved and barely flinched at any of the injections. When they clipped my nails a little close, however, that was another story. I let out a couple of ear-piercing yelps for the techs back there, just for show.
Sadly, the nail clipping wasn’t the only bad aspect of the physical. Nor was it having my temperature taken (and no, they didn’t attach something to my ear to do it), nor was it having my anal sacs expressed (you don’t want to know what this entails).
No, the worst part came first: the weigh-in. On the same, walk-on scale in the lobby that registered 18.1 pounds a year ago, the numbers stopped spinning at 18.6. Not bad for a 4-year-old dachshund, you might say. Dr. Kimmel, however, was quick to bring it to Mike’s attention, because 18.6 is a full half-pound more than my weight a year ago. “She’s not overweight,” Dr. Kimmel told Mike, but even though Mike agreed with her, I could smell the wood burning in his evil noggin. I’m not certain whether Mike will cut my rations or just reduce the number of between-meal treats he slips me every day. Either way, I fear my halcyon days are over, and an era of belt-tightening about to ensue. I am feeling hungry already.
Tale of the Tape
|4/1/10||8 weeks||5.8 pounds||Elliott Bay Animal Hospital (EBAH)|
|3/29/11||1 year, two months||17.1||EBAH 1 year exam|
|9/23/11||19.5 months||18.8||EBAH exam for nose spot|
|3/30/12||2 years, two months||17.5||EBAH 2 year exam|
|9/11/12||2 years, eight months||19.0||EBAH for ear infection|
|9/25/12||2 years, nine months||18.6||EBAH for ear followup|
|4/2/13||3 years, two months||18.1||EBAH 3-year exam, lobby|
|3/31/14||4 years, two months||18.6||EBAH 4-year exam, lobby|