Heather and Mike really lucked out by picking the coldest cold snap of my young life to head to Hawaii. Quite the disrespect, I’d say. They had warm trade winds, and I got the Arctic Chill. At least my good friend Lynn stayed with me, because she knows what staying warm is all about. When Lynn’s here, I spend much more time in front of the fireplace, more time under the covers and more time wearing my tan sweater outside. Lynn even puts the sweater atop the heat register about for about five minutes prior to our outing. Warm is good.
It stayed frigid here for more than a week. On several occasions, I tried to convince Lynn that I was burning extra calories on our walks because the colder temperatures made my body work extra hard, but Lynn was not convinced. Both of us were impressed, however, when Lynn needed to get something from her car. She placed a bag of my recent poop on her car while she retrieved the greeting cards inside, and in those few seconds, my contribution melted the frost on her car, offering conclusive proof of my general hot shittedness.
I always have fun with Lynn. This time she took me in her car on a few errands and let me sit in the front seat each time. She even let me take along my 6-inch rawhide chewy, which hung out of my mouth like a stogie as I took my sweet jaunt down the sidewalk, proudly showing the world what I’ve got. Of course, when other dogs walked by, even across the street, I was careful to hide my treat. One day we were almost home when Grace, the next-door neighbor’s labradoodle puppy, let out a big bark from behind her fence. It startled me, and I sprinted to the safety of our porch before I would let the rawhide go.
Another day I pranced down the street in my coat with my stogie dangling when a cat stopped on the sidewalk about 20 feet ahead of me. Lynn spoke some coaxing cat talk at it, and to my amazement it walked about 10 feet closer and sat down again. I looked at it, then at Lynn, then at the cat again, and back at Lynn, several more times. Finally, I dropped down into my sphinx position, facing the kitty. We did not get any closer, but there was also no barking or chasing. After several minutes, the kitty calmly rose and walked into the bushes, and we continued down the sidewalk. As Lynn and I walked past the cat’s trail, I turned my nose in that direction and checked it out with just a few sniffs. Then we resumed our walk again. No need to follow up today; I know where she lives.