Statistics don’t lie – at least according to Heather they don’t. (On the other hand, Mark Twain maintained, “There’s lies, damn lies, and statistics,” a sentiment that I like a lot better.)
Anyway, another one of those itchy ear infections sent me back to the vet last week. This time I had a different doctor, and she was relentless. She and her assistants cleaned my ears out really deeply, much better than when Heather does it. I quickly decided it was best not to put up a fuss, so I was pretty good on the operating table. What else could I do?
But that wasn’t the worst of it. Before the examination I was forced onto the electronic scale, and soon it was evident why I tried to squirm my way off of it before the pounds registered on the display. Check out my weight history:
|4/1/10||8 weeks||5.8 pounds||Elliott Bay AH pup scale|
|3/29/11||1 year, two months||17.1||EBAH 1 year exam|
|9/23/11||19.5 months||18.8||EBAH exam for nose spot|
|3/30/12||2 years, two months||17.5||EBAH 2 year exam|
|9/11/12||2 years, eight months||19.0||EBAH for ear infection|
Yikes! Have I really gained a pound and a half since last spring? It’s not possible!
My personal explanation is that the previous reading (17.8 pounds, down from 18.8 the time before) was in error. After all, the current reading of 19.0 is ONLY two-tenths of a pound more than 18.8. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Besides, Heather now has to put medicine into my ears twice a day for two weeks, and every time she does it, she follows up by treating me to several big chunks of cheddar cheese – the rich, expensive kind that Mike gets at Costco!
So it’s doubtful I’ll be shedding pounds any time soon, not to mention my likely soaring cholesterol level. I just hope I don’t have to get back on the scale when I go in for my follow-up ear checkup when the two weeks is up. If I tip the scale at 20 or more, Mike might cut out my daily Frozen Peanut Butter Boney (PBB).
I’m not sure I could stand it.
Meanwhile, Mike has gone away for the weekend, and Heather is taking care of me all by herself, taking me to her office, taking me out to my weekend getaway, and feeding me lots of cheese. When Mike gets back, he’s going to put me on Weight Watchers for sure.