One of my many loyal readers writes:
Dear Chloë–I was thinking about getting a wiener dog roommate, and people have advised me against it. What are your thoughts?
First of all, I can’t tell you how flattered I am to be considered the Dear Abby of the canine set. Ultimately, whether the advice of a 15-month-old puppy is worth following remains to be seen. This won’t stop me from delivering some pearls of wisdom, however.
My advice, in a nutshell: Go for it.
Mike got an email the other day from his friend Bill, who lives in Washington, D.C. Bill’s wirehair dachshund Morgen, another fine old soul, died about the same time as Heidi, my predecessor out here in Seattle. Bill, himself one of my most dedicated readers, told Mike that instead of getting himself another wiener dog, he had gotten Frank (short for Coney Island Frankfurter) as a surprise gift for his godson’s son on the day the baby was born in February. Bill and his godson have been close since his godson’s birth, and now he and his wife live just a few blocks away.
“I feel that every boy should have a dog, so I delivered Frank (check out this handsome guy to the right!) to the baby when he was 36 hours old, a gift from ‘Faux Pa,’ as I am titled,” Bill writes. “The baby’s parents would have far preferred a baby rattle, I’m sure, but no surprise that everyone immediately falls in love with Frank. Since they live so close by, I walk him and take him to the dog park every day; good exercise for us both. And when they travel (which they often do), Frank stays with Faux Pa! How great is that?! So tell Chloe that she has a ‘cousin’ back east!”
Thanks, Bill. That is pretty much everybody’s reaction when a wiener dog enters their life. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
If anyone has the opportunity, don’t hesitate–go get yourself a wiener dog. Smooth, longhair, wirehair, standard or mini, it doesn’t matter. Sure, the constant battle of wills is always going to be a challenge, but it keeps you on your toes. Just one thing, however: Don’t let your dachshund get fat. We’ll eat anything in sight if you let us, but there’s nothing sadder than a too-plump wiener dog.
Besides, look at all the fun you could be having, as in the photo below, where I’m showing Mike who’s the boss. Don’t laugh, it could be you!